This story seems to highlight why forgiveness is so difficult.
In the heat of an argument, my wife came up with an acute theological insight. We were discussing my shortcomings in a rather spirited way when she said, “I think it’s pretty amazing that I forgive you for some of the dastardly things you’ve done!”
What struck me about her comment was its sharp perception into the nature of forgiveness. It is not a sweet platonic ideal to be dispersed in the world like air-freshener sprayed from a can. Forgiveness is achingly difficult, and long after you’ve forgiven, the wound lives on in memory. Forgiveness is an unnatural act, and my wife was protesting its blatant unfairness.
God doesn’t allow us to pick and choose whom we should forgive, nor does He even allow us to pick and choose what particular incidents we should forgive. I’ve been struggling with this recently because of a person I know urging me to drop a class where she was going to be a student. She told me that she would be fine with me being her teacher, but then later went back on her decision and asked me to drop the class.
Well, in the end, I ended up losing that class, a paycheck that was going to help pay for our first Disney trip with the kids, and about three more months without a class because my schedule was messed up. I was, needless to say, very bitter and unhappy with this person.
But, as I’ve mentioned previously, I was looking at the situation from a narrower frame of reference and not a God-sized frame of reference. If we believe that He is greater than any trial or enemy we could face on Earth, then we also have to believe that His perception of the same is greater than ours. It wasn’t until I saw the bigger picture of what God is doing that I saw I had to forgive her. Sure, it was tough, but I saw God’s plan was greater than my own, and that made it so much simpler.
In the bigger picture, you expend less energy by forgiving someone than by not forgiving someone.
